Photography Changed Me

Five years ago I picked up a camera for the first time. My reason for doing so was not because I thought I would end up where I am today in my photography journey, but because I wanted to challenge myself to do something hard, that I knew would take years to develop any real skill. I started because I decided to start a YouTube channel surrounding adventures that I was taking in my wife’s Jeep. The thought was simple, I already go on adventures, and I want to learn more about photography, videography, and editing, so the next logical step was to embark on a new venture that would force me to stay the course for a long period. The reason that the last part of the previous sentence is important is because my life has been all about “on to the next” thing, no matter what the subject. I knew that this new venture would force me to stick with it because abandoning it would be so publicly obvious, so in a sense, it was a strange form of accountability I had to myself to not do what I’ve always done and move on to the next shiny hobby when it presents itself.

Fast forward five years and I still live with a camera in my hand. I’m writing this at 7:13 am on a Friday after getting up early for sunset and driving to the mountains to be greeted with a sign that read “Mountain Access closed” because of the bad weather we got last night. Photography changed me.

You may ask why it changed or maybe even how, the small paragraph before would resonate with people who know me because I’m not what you would consider an early bird. I like to do life on my terms and do it when it’s convenient, but with photography, the weather and the conditions dictate your schedule, not you. That’s a smaller less important part of how and why photography changed me, a larger example would be my passion and love for the outdoors. My entire life has been in a city. I grew up in a large city, I moved away to a larger city, and I moved back to a city. I didn’t go camping or on a hike for almost 15 years of my life, it wasn’t important and I didn’t see the value. It wasn’t until I went climbing with a friend of mine named Ben that things started to settle in.

I was going through an extremely rough time in my life, it was all existential, and everything wrong was in between my ears, but I felt lonely and lost even in a sea full of people. I’ll never forget the moment of wading through cold waste deep water in my underwear carrying my stuff over head and making it to the rock face. We got our gear on and Ben started climbing. After I finally made it to the top and sat up there looking out at the Forest I realized that in the moments of clinging to the wall trying with all my might to make it to the top, I never had a thought about anything else except staying alive and completing the objective. That may sound dramatic, but that’s what it felt like and I remember being free of my burdens and thoughts, everything was still, I was at peace.

Although that experience was profound, it wasn’t until I met my wife that things changed for me. After 6 months of dating she and I took a trip. We went to Havasu Falls deep in the desert of the Grand Canyon. This was a 10-mile hike, one way, in the dead of summer to spend three days sleeping in a small tent next to the most spectacular blue water I have ever seen in my life. If you’ve never heard of this magical place, I suggest you look it up. This trip opened my eyes in a new way. The landscape, the solitude, the curiousness of nature, it all happened there.

Years later, I chose to live with a camera within arms reach 24/7. I never thought I would be good enough to call myself a photographer. I never even knew what that meant or how to achieve that label. What I realized along the way is that the label just comes after you decide to accept it. To be a photographer doesn’t mean you have to get paid to do the job or hobby. To be a photographer simply means that you have a passion for the art and you’re willing to pursue that passion no matter what. My mentality towards chasing the things that inspire me runs deep. That passion is what has brought me to the spot where I am today in various aspects of my life. I truly enjoy grabbing my camera and heading to the mountains, but not just for the images, for the immersion in the experience of nature that my camera has led me to. Yes, this is a passion I’ve turned into a paying job, but the day I feel like I’m working will be the day I stop carrying a camera.

The point is, that photography opened my eyes to a world that exists outside of myself. Nature doesn’t care about you or your problems, you have to adapt to it, nature doesn’t adapt to you. The world in which we live is often manicured in a way to make us comfortable and keep us content. The wilderness has none of those comforts, which forces you to adapt your senses, skills, and ideas, to accommodate it. This idea isn’t a novel one. Some of the most grounded humans on the planet exist in a world that seems so foreign to most. Photography took me to a place and forced me to become in tune with parts of my mind that I had abandoned for almost two decades. Somehow, while achieving my personal goals in photography I found a piece of myself that I didn’t know existed. I’m writing this feeling humbled and thankful for the time you spent reading and I hope that this resonates with you and pushes you to pursue the thing that forces you to grow.

Until next time,

Josh